I’ve been thinking about this whole thing we’re all doing now. You know, this competition to see who can be the most nonchalant, the most unbothered, the most above everything. It’s like everyone is trying to win an award for “Coolest Person Who Feels Absolutely Nothing.”

And I’m not even going to lie: I think it’s so lame.

We Grew Up in Peak Personality Era

One thing I genuinely appreciate about being a millennial (a true 90s kid, or a 1K or whatever they’re calling us now) is that we actually got to live in an era where people had personalities. Like full-on, unfiltered personalities.

Think about the movies and shows we grew up on: Mean Girls, Legally Blonde, every chaotic chick flick of the early 2000s. Yes, they were silly. Sometimes aggressively ridiculous. But they were fun. They were ours. They reflected pieces of who we were becoming.

And something I always loved about that era was how media didn’t only worship the “cool kids.” Sure, the cool clique existed (it always does) but you’d also see the weirdos. The theatre kids. The science nerds. The girl who wore fairy wings to class for no reason. The skater kids. The emo kids. They weren’t always the “main” characters, but they weren’t erased either. They had whole storylines.

High School Musical was literally the Avengers for every school clique (let me be dramatic, please). That movie showed us you could be a basketball player and still want to sing on stage. And you wouldn’t combust. You’d just… be a human with layers.

We Expressed Ourselves So Loudly Online

Then came Myspace, Bebo (I’m REALLY showing my age here), Hi5, Tumblr — platforms where you actually curated your personality.
(And I’m sorry, Facebook was the beginning of the end. I stand by that.)

On Myspace you could code your profile like you were a graphic designer. On Tumblr you could fully reinvent your identity every week if you wanted to. We had themes, layouts, glitter text, playlists that auto-played the second someone clicked your page. We were unhinged. In the best way.

It was messy, but it was alive.

And now, the same people who used to roll their eyes at all of that?
They’ve aged into the people policing everything online. The “why are you posting that” crowd. The “this is cringe” think-pieces. The cool kids have turned into “boring beige” adults who hate fun.

The Spotify Wrapped Madness Proves My Point

This whole week has been one thing: Spotify Wrapped discourse.
The way people are genuinely fighting about who they listen to?
As if caring about your own music taste is embarrassing?

Apparently even posting your Wrapped is cringe.
Apparently enjoying anything publicly is cringe.

I’m like… When does it end?

Life is hard. The world feels heavy. If animated slides showing my top artists make me happy for three seconds, let me have that. It’s not that deep. Not everything needs a think-piece. Sometimes people are just trying to feel something that isn’t bleak.

Honestly, Be Cringe. It Means You’re Actually Living.

If there’s one thing I want to tell anyone right now, it’s this:

Be cringe. Who cares?
No, really. Do the thing.

Go back to ballet at 32.
Join a sports club again.
Wear the weird outfit.
Learn pottery or pole dancing or crochet.
Follow the trends even if you don’t master them.
Watch trash TV if it brings you peace and DISCUSS it.
Listen to your chaotic playlists with pride.

This life is short.
And trying to be “effortlessly cool” is literally stealing joy from yourself.

Why Do We Think Feeling Nothing Is Attractive?

This obsession with being unbothered. I don’t get it. No seriously, I don’t.

Nobody is put together. Nobody is effortlessly calm. Not in this world. Not with this economy. Not with the news cycle we have.

Besides… being put-together is overrated.

We’re all just trying to navigate life with whatever emotional resources we have left.

Give me the people who feel things.
Give me the people who ramble and cry and laugh and care.

I’ll Take the “Lame” Kids Any Day

I’m a retired theatre kid who did public speaking for fun. I have taste that jumps from Beyoncé to Taylor Swift to Hillsong in the same playlist. I listened to over 180,000 minutes of music this year…. as I do every year. Because I’m strange like that?

So in case you didn’t know… I’ll tell you myself:

Your quirks are not embarrassing.
Your enthusiasm is not embarrassing.
Your interests are not embarrassing.

The only people who find those things weird are the ones who haven’t felt truly joyful in years.

As We Move Into A New Year…

Please let go of this idea that you need to be put-together to be worthy.
Let go of the performance of emotional minimalism.
Let go of the pressure to be effortlessly cool.

Embrace the fact that you’re a little chaotic.
Embrace the parts of you that don’t make “sense.”
Embrace the weird, soft, excited, overly-invested layers.

Be cringe.
Be loud about what you love.
Be the main character of your own silly little story.

The people policing your joy are the lamest ones in the room anyway.